Challenge Day 30: One Thing You’re Excited About

This weekend has started out very iffy but has gotten better. Definitely. Got to sleep in, for the most part and then we made waffles :) and then we basically started right into pies. We had to bake 34 pies (still baking actually, about halfway thru). It's going to be a loooong night. One that I personally will have no problem staying awake during ;)

I really can't stand pumpkin pies. The house smells like pumpkin and I feel like my hands are coated in it, no matter how often I wash them. We're running out of room to stack them as well. I will be so glad after tomorrow! It's a great fund-raiser, don't get me wrong, it just feels never-ending.

Today's challenge, which is my last challenge sadly, is one thing that I'm excited about.

There have been a lot of new changes in my life lately and I think that it has opened quite a few doors. I know I've made mention of this a few times, and I'm still going to stay pretty cryptic as to specifics because I think that sometimes if something has happened and you make too big a deal of it too soon, it can mess it up before it even begins. That being said, it's not a real specific thing: it's not a job, it's not a relationship, it's not a move to a new house. It's nothing too specific like that, just that the way things have stacked lately I feel like I can be excited about what the future holds :) I'd love to know what you all think.

Maybe I'll need to find a new challenge :) I keep getting told I need to do a photo challenge. Maybe I will. But make sure to check back in!

Challenge Day 29: Five Weird Things That You Like

TGIF. Seriously. Thank God it's Friday. It's been a pretty long week, stress wise. But I am officially all caught up :) I stayed later tonight and graded and got things done. My room is back to it's cleanliness scale and I am getting a new student in 2 weeks! Yay, that puts me at 8 lol

This weekend we have 34 pumpkin pies to make ugh, lol that's a little more than I had expected. But hopefully it'll go quick. I'm hoping to get into my office and really get some major work done.

But to tonight's challenge, five weird things that you like....

1. Vanilla Frosting, Animal Cracker, & Popcorn: This sounds really disgusting, I know, but it really is good! My friend Amy and I found this out probably in Jr. High, you have to eat them all at the same time too!

2. Marshmallow Fluff, Animal Cracker, Nutella sandwiches: My first year of college I'd just gotten back from Australia and fallen in love with nutella and we decided that we should try this. You have to put the nutella on one side and the marshmallow fluff on the other and then mush them together (I eat a lot of animal crackers apparently lol).

3. Night skiing/boarding: I know this sounds ridiculously cold (and sometimes it is) but it's an adrenaline rush and it's so eerie and quite and the snow is always crunchy and that's all you hear. I love it! When I was in college I used to go every weekend and the fog would start rolling in and all you could see was the lights on the lift line and I loved the serenity it brought.

4. The Smell of Gunpowder: I don't know what it is, but I've always liked the sulfury smell when you shoot a gun.

5. Driving at Night: I know this one does sound weird, but I love traveling at night. I like seeing places, but I will tell you the best time I've had in a while was driving through the Red Woods at 4 in the morning. It was such an in awe feeling.

Well that's it for the night. It feels weird knowing that tomorrow will be the end of my challenge. Will I have as many views? If you have had fun reading this I would ask that you follow it and check in even when I'm not posting every day! You can follow me publicly (which I'd prefer, I'd love to see who follows me really) or privately; you don't have to have a blogger account to follow either. Anyway, keep checking back - especially for my photography!

Challenge Day 28: Somewhere You’d Like to Move to Or Visit

So today was just one of those days. I'd just like to start out apologizing to anyone who I talked to today, or who I ignored after realizing what type of day it would be. I'm a bitch (yes, I really am) but I'm not that much of one that I'll down you all with my complaints (except maybe Melanie, but she loves me and doesn't get a choice).

It was one of those completely feel helplessly unorganized days. But what could I really expect after being out of class for almost a week. I surely shouldn't expect huge stacks of papers in all my turn in baskets, or that my desk would be a wreck, or that the room was way out of order, or that there was pencil shavings all over the back sink. Nope, definitely shouldn't've expected any of that.

Today is my mom's birthday though. Being the good daughter that I am, I decided to make her a really yummy dinner and clean house and get a card. Well when we were in the card aisle looking at them I turned around and just saw this card. I wanted to get it, just to get it, but I really have no one to give it to, so I recommend those people who are dating or who have husbands should rush to Wal-Mart and grab it! haha

Bahahahaha I loved it. The funny thing is, when I turned and was like hahaha Mel knew right where I was looking. Great minds and all ;)

But tonight's blog is going to be good! If I can get it all put together.

Lists are best, and since I won't be narrowing it down, here we go:

• Italy - this is a given, that's where my family on my dad's side is mainly from.

• Germany, Poland, Scandinavian Countries - mostly because I am a WWII buff lol but I also have a lot of family on my mom's side from Sweden (and I have an adopted Oma who is from Germany). 

• The UK - since I was little this was on my list!
• Spain - because I got gypped out of it a couple years ago, and I've always wanted to go!
• All 50 states (I've only got 11 crossed out) - I think that I need to see this country in order to really appreciate it.
• Egypt - because it was always a fascination when I was little.

• Greece - I think it would be so beautiful, it just seems calming

 

Anyway, I think I am going to sit down and try to enjoy watching 666 Park Avenue, since it scares the heck outta me and I really shouldn't watch it before bed, butttttt whatever!

Challenge Day 27: A Quote to Try to Live By

Today was another full day of Singapore Math training. It really has been a good training overall, and today we actually got to see it in action in the classrooms. I'm not gonna lie, it's going to be weird to go back to my classroom on Thursday, seeing as I haven't been in there since last Friday. But from the news I've heard they've been really well behaved (thank God)! That makes me so proud :) (aside from the fact that I threatened their lives ;) jk...but actually not really). My head is actually hurting today, I think more from being exhausted than really overwhelmed, though it may be a good mix of both. We did this from 9 am - 12 pm and it was one right after the other. This was further on, as it's fractions, but it kept steadily getting harder, check it out:

This is called model drawing. We did this from the most simple addition and subtraction to percents and fractions.

I know this is going to be out of the blue, but if anyone has any good drink mixes for tequila please leave them in my comments. I made the mistake of buying (what I think anyway) a huge bottle of it thinking it was something else (in my defense, so did Amy) and I can't stand straight tequila. I need to do something other than just margaritas :)

This challenge will be another one that's hard to narrow down. I love quotes. I collect quotes :) but it takes a lot for a quote to actually make it to my collection haha it is going to be really hard to narrow this down, because it's just one quote and by now you should know me well enough to know that I really just don't do favorites...

Although it is a singular word, there are many variations of alone. There is the alone of an empty beach at twilight. There is the alone of an empty hotel room. There is the alone of being caught in a throng of people. There is the alone of missing a particular person and there is the alone of being with a particular person and realizing you're still alone. - Lemony Snickett

 

I think this quote just speaks volumes (to not sound too cliche). I think it's not necessarily something to live by, but it's a life truth. We all feel alone at some point in our lives, but even if we're not alone we can still feel alone. You just have to know that even when you feel the most alone, you still have to go on living - even if it's tough.

So lastly, here are some pictures from my office progress! It's crazy how much the color is changing the feel of the room. It's a very calming place to be in and I tend to go in there right before bed and turn on music (at the moment I'm obsessed with Priscilla Ahn's new CD "When You Grow Up", check it out) and shut the door and paint. I can't wait for it to actually be my office :)

Challenge Day 26: Something You’re Currently Worrying About

Today has been an ok day. I wore my new boots :) which I was super stoked to find by the way. I got to wear jeans and got to sit in training all day. It was actually pretty beneficial training and we have more tomorrow. It's on Singapore Math, which is a specific technic of teaching math that focuses more on the place value of numbers than the math we teach now.

Today's challenge is a little tricky. I hope this doesn't come back to bite me, but the biggest worry right now for me is money. I love this time of year, but lately things have been a little tighter and it's harder to spend money - even when I want to get all my Christmas shopping done. Money is always going to be a worry in my profession one way or another, but I hate that it has to be. Especially since I am the only support system for me. I don't have a spouse who can support me with another income and that's a little frustrating when you want to be as independent as I'd like to be. I wish I could get a place of my own and decorate it all cute and travel and shop for quality over just getting by.

Can I just get three wishes over here?

Challenge Day 25: Five Words/Phrases That Make You Laugh

So today is the day that we observe Veteran's Day and after last night's post I felt pretty rude about not really mentioning all those people I know! So I hope I don't leave anyone out but here goes:

• My friend Katrice and her husband
• My friend Amber's boyfriend, Erich
• My friend Kaila's husband, Nick
• Kiersten and her husband, Brandon
• Audrey
• My friend Rose's husband, Rory
• Kolt
• Kenya
• Jim
• Matt
• John

I'm sure there's many more and I am not positive on every one's branches so rather than look silly I will just leave them as is and thank them for even being/having been in the military to begin with!

The school took today off, which meant a nice day off for me and a time for my mom and I to get to spend together. It's been nice, we slept in and then got dressed to go shopping. We had specific things in mind but still somehow ended up at Fashion Place Mall. I have a love/hate relationship with malls. Mainly because I never really have money to spend in malls. My mom is my go-to when I have an issue spending money and generally she'll talk me out of things I don't need. But she's also the first to make me buy stuff I don't need too! Either way a lethal combination.

All day I have been asking for help with this day's challenge and I have yet to actually come up with 5 things that make me laugh; and most of them will probably make no one but me laugh. Either way, here goes:

Top 5 Things That Make Me Laugh

1. Probably the first one that came to mind is the phrase: Die Whore Die. My friend Mel and I say this to each other all the time. Which probably sounds terrible, but it's more of an inside joke than anything.

2. I drive by this next one all the time and it just makes me laugh, so without any real further explanation here is my number 2 (it's at the drive in theater by the way):



If you can't read it, it says "See You Next Year Unless the Mayans Are Right"

     3. This one will come out sounding terrible, probably is terrible, and yet it always made me laugh. In high school during soccer, if you ever kicked the ball, shot it, whatever and it went somewhere it wasn't supposed to (for instance, down the huge ass hill on the other side of the parking lot) we always had a saying (and I'm cracking up trying to even type it): shag your ball(s). Enough said If you don't get it then I'm not explaining.

4. In a fit of immaturity, anything that can be misconstrued as dirty/gutter minded always flits through my mind and makes me want to laugh. It doesn't even have to be meant that way. I blame the other teachers I work with *cough* Bonnie *cough*

5. Any word that comes out not quite the right way. Some classic examples (of my own making) are: buggage - baggage, luggage / toxting - talking, texting / etc.

 

 

Anyway, that should cover my 5. Not that they're fantastic, but this was really, really, really hard! If you're reading this and think otherwise, I'd love for you to try it. If you can do it, leave it in my comments :)

Challenge Day 24: Something That You Miss

This weekend has been one of those never-ending weekends. Starting with baking yesterday and then breakfast today. I will say I have become pretty amazing at cooking sausage - down to keeping them all in straight little lines lol (that's probably the OCD kicking in), it's just really exhausting because of the heat from the grill. I definitely came away with heat rash up and down my arms and the feeling that my eyes have been sunburned.

Really quick here, I would like to extend a thank you to all of our veterans and those still serving for our armed forces today, especially:

• My Brother - Marines
• My Dad - Marines
• My Grandpa Allred - Air Force
• My Friend Kolt - Navy
• And all those other people who I grew up with that are serving as we speak

Tomorrow we took the day off for school in honor of Veteran's Day. Not gonna lie, I need the extra day and it'll be nice to be able to spend some time with my mom because she's got it off too.

I think I have eaten my weight in breakfast food today, which is always what happens when we cook breakfast - it's probably good because then it makes me sick of it until the next month!

Today's challenge is something that I miss. I think I kinda hinted at this yesterday, but we'll expand on it now!

I miss being a kid. Plain and simple. You always want to grow up and be a teenager or 21 or an adult. But you never really want to be a kid.

Me when I was about 3

• When I was a kid, cartoons were normal, not weird like the ones we see today.
• When I was a kid, I remember singing as loudly as possible to country muic - real country, not sitting-on-a-beach-with-my-beer country
• When I was a kid, we would spend hours out in the park across the street after they had mowed it making houses out of the grass clippings and you could stay out until the sprinklers came on - there's no way we'd let kids do that today
• When I was a kid, I remember falling off a gazebo into a thicket of rose bushes and scratching my arms and legs to pieces, but I learned my lesson
• When I was a kid, people were actually into volunteering and we had fun activities for Girl Scouts and things like that
• When I was a kid, I didn't know what heartache was or that your best friend could leave you high and dry
• When I was a kid, there weren't bills to pay or credit cards to tempt you!
• When I was a kid, there weren't cell phones or laptops or iAnything! You actually had to memorize phone numbers and it was a huge deal to give it out!
• When I was a kid, I had a walkman!
• When I was a kid, I did a cartwheel on the pavement and cut my lip open, tripped over our hose and scarred my knee, and pulled the door to the swimming pool open over my toe and cut it open
• When I was a kid, I didn't worry that what I was saying would affect my job, my life, or my future

Plain and simple, being a kid was just easier.

Challenge Day 23: One Of Your Favorite Memories

Ok so the snow has totally made my week! We got over 10" here in Tooele and it's been sooo tempting to not just go out and play in it like the kids on our block lol yesterday we actually ended up closing the school because the power went out towards the end of the day. The kids loved it, it totally threw my schedule off though!

So lately (try like the past two weeks) I have been consumed with the need to bake! I made cupcakes the other night but it wasn't really what I wanted to make so that need hasn't disappeared. Today we're baking 12 pumpkin pies for our fundraiser but I'm not a huge pumpkin anything fan so it's not going to get rid of that need either lol I have never actually made a cheesecake, but I am going to attempt one today, from scratch - I hear they're really tempermental though. It's going to be a Chocolate Chip Cheesecake and if it comes out like the picture shows, I will be super happy, though it's a bit of a chocolate overload for my liking!

So this challenge day has really had me racking my brain for an answer - which is why it didn't get posted last night. I'm still not positive I have a favorite memory. I think this would be easier if it were a traumatic memory lol

So it's nothing toward any of my other friends but I think a lot of my favorite memories include my friend Amy. I think we were meant to be sisters in another life! We've known each other for over 10 years now and when we were little we would be at each other's houses every single day. But there was a time that her and our friend at the time Amber went up with my family to my grandparents house in Afton, Wyoming. I remember singing "In the Navy" and "YMCA" at the top of our lungs in the backseat and driving my parents nuts! It was during winter break and we were going to go snowmobiling and everything because my grandpa owns a dry farm and it's the perfect place to go sledding and snowmobiling. He also has a share of the canyon behind his house and so we always have to go up the canyon. Well there had been some sightings (or so my grandpa said, he is known for making up some crazy stories) of a mountain lion in the canyon. We were all walking and we saw some deer, well the deer froze when they saw us and then they were like running away and we were running away and screaming and Amy was almost having a panic attack and Amber was totally trying to calm her down because she was going to hyperventilate! We thought the deer had run because of the mountain lion (I'm sure they ran because of us).

But back to the dry farm. So my grandpa (when he still farmed full time) had these huge inner-tubes from the tractors (have you ever seen tractor tires?) and we used to use them as sleds to go down the hill. They were big enough that all of us could fit on them at once and we would like dog-pile onto it to go down. My grandpa always picks you up at the bottom with the snowmobile so you don't have to walk back up, and he had driven down to get us. It was all going great until he hit this random little bump. Except that it wasn't little to us! It made the inner-tube like fly into the air and we all bounced off, but when we tried to scream at him to stop he couldn't hear us! So we're like laughing/screaming/doubled over trying to get his attention and he never actually noticed!

I loved being a kid. Before emotions and work and money and school got in the way.

A Few Before Pics & Challenge Day 22: Your Hopes For The Future

Let's start today off with a little bit of a vent. Ok. WHO THE HELL WAKES UP AT 3:30 IN THE MORNING? Me. I hate waking up in the middle of the night - especially at 3:30 or anywhere near that time (old horror movie trauma playing in my mind). I hate even more when you wake up because it's too hot. I always have to have something covering me and therefore it takes forever to cool off. By the time I had cooled off our clock was chiming 5 am. It was all I could do this morning to just keep thinking "It's not my kids' fault, it's not my kids' fault" because it was definitely the set up for disaster being that it's Thursday and all.

Ok I'm done. Overall today was pretty good though, other than having to sort out a rumor starter and not really enjoying my lunch because it was cold by the time I figured out said rumor starter and going to the gym only to realize that I still can't walk/jog/run because my socks as of late have been falling down and therefore my shoes have rubbed my ankle raw and today it didn't matter that I a band-aid and long socks on today, it still hurt (biking is just not as exciting! lol). Plus then you see those stupid people who you just know have bought all this super expensive brand new clothing/shoes (even though those are completely adorable) to make you think they're soooo into working out (and then they wear headbands with flowers) when really you're like "hey, c'mon I'm over here in my old tee and totally worn pants - you can't be cute and work out for real!" or those people who come in wearing scarves (reallllly) and flip flops? *sigh*

Today was just meant to be a down kind of day. I think it's the storm coming in. But if it does what it's supposed to do this weekend should be much happier! We're supposed to get snow. Lots of snow. And what's even better is that we're going to get a ton of lake-effect snow because the lake is suuuuper warm right now. Snow would make my life better lol

Today's challenge is going to require a list (yay) I think.

Presenting My Hopes for the Future!

• That soon my parents divorce will be finalized
• That my sister will stay in school
• That I'll be able to go back and finish my masters - preferably in student counseling or reading
• That I'll be brave enough to just pick up and move somewhere
• That (a few years down the road - at the very least!) I'll be able to find someone and get married
• That my friend Amy and I will live in the same state again (or maybe Fiji haha)
• That I don't die in Rio (I'm sorta joking)
• That I will finally achieve that point in my life where I am happy just the way I am - we're getting there - but this was something I've talked about before
• That I have money to travel - and travel right, not just do pre-done tours
• And because this has to be on here - that the Mayans aren't right and we live to see 2013 hahaha :)

Here's a few pictures of my office :) we thought about it too late so the trim is just about done and we put some of the new color on the one wall, but here is my before's:

We'll see if it covers the red and blue completely!

Challenge Day 21: Your Fears

Can I just start this with how thankful I am that elections are over? Not even for the shear fact that someone lost or won, but that I can't stand them.

So happier times! I don't know what it is, but I've been sooo tired lately, I hope I'm not getting sick. I don't normally get sick - like ever! this is going to be a very long weekend if I get sick. I'm hoping to go out and buy paint for my office tonight :) but other than that life is pretty good. No school this coming Monday - and it's already Wednesday of this week! A few more days and then a break - very much needed.

Ok to the challenge. This one I had to think about. The first two are a little basic, and the third is a deeper issue fear, so if you're not all that touchy-feely, want to know everything about me person read the first two and then you can stop, sound good? :)

My Fears

• Needles: I don't think is such an irrational fear. I mean who wants something poking them? I have always hated needles. But I have this other fear when it comes to needles and that's not being able to know what is going on with said needle. I have to watch them put it in, which with most people who hate needles they're like oh turn away. Nope. Who the heck knows that that person is going to do with it if I'm not watching?!
• Creepy Crawlies/Reptiles: I don't do anything that could be categorized as such. I hate bugs, spiders, rodents, snakes, lizards, geckos (right Kate), and anything else in that category. Not that I won't smash my own spiders (we have this conversation all the time, if I am the only one available to do so, I'll do it, but why do it if there's someone else?), I just don't like it and I definitely have had nightmares concerning snakes. Ugh.....
• Not Being Able To Accomplish All I Want to Accomplish: This seems silly, but I am actually afraid of being subpar. That sounds really silly now that it's out there in words, but it's the truth. There's so much that I still want to do and I want to go back to school and actually move up in my career and move and travel the world. I want to have all these fantastic life experiences. But I'm afraid I won't be anything more than the people I see on the streets here in Tooele (nothing against them, honestly), I want more out of life.

By the way, I will be baking tonight. And I got this blog out before 7:30! I feel pretty accomplished ;)

Challenge Day 20: Five Items You Must Have

Oh man what a day. I hate election day. I know that I should be super excited that it's my freedom that allows me to vote and la de da and I am totally patriotic, but I really hate elections. It's too much stress and some hateful stuff just comes out. I'd really like to just shut down for the day.

Anyway, nothing too exciting happened today - except that I voted! lol

Ok to the challenge:

5 Things I Must Have (In no particular order)

1. My Cell Phone: I don't necessarily need it on me at all times, but it's very comforting to know it's there in case I really do need it.
2. My Camera: I think that without my camera I would be lost, I love being able to document things and be able to look back on those memories.
3. My Friends: Oh man, I don't know where I'd be, honestly, without my friends. I'm sure that I would be a complete mess! I don't know how many times a day I call on them for help or that I need their encouragement.
4. Food: I love food. That's really all that needs to be said.
5. My Passport: I have a need to travel. A serious need. I get antsy when I'm in one place too long. I like having a place to call home, but this world is way too big for me to just stay at home for the rest of my life!

Challenge Day 19: A Problem That You Have Had

Ok so I know that I didn't post yesterday, but I was exhausted and just really not in the mood to answer, and then on top of that I didn't really have an answer for it quite yet.

So today was pretty good, my kids sometimes make me laugh because as frustrating as they are, you can't be mad. This was a conversation between two of them (and of course the class):

Boy 1: I'm moving
Boy 2: You're moving?
Boy 1: Yes
Boy 2: Where are you moving to?
Boy 1: To Chicken
Boy 2: Where's Chicken?
Boy 1: In Turkey

lol I really tried hard not to laugh, but they were being total smart asses (for lack of a better term) and yet it made me laugh right along with the rest of the class.

Yesterday was a good day though. My sister finally moved everything to her bathroom in the basement meaning I now have my own bathroom! :) but that meant I had to go shopping! :S I really shouldn't've but I really wanted to haha either way, the bathroom is completely redone. Now my focus has to be my office, I need a bigger bed lol

Anyway, on to the challenge I suppose. I've decided that the best problem (and one that won't take that long to describe), is probably that of my parents divorce. Can I just say, divorce at any age is not fun? People are always like, you're older, you can handle it better than a little kid. Soooo not true! So many more things get thrown into play - like the fact that yes, you are older - meaning you don't miss all the obvious reasons or some of the things that both parties try to leave out.

It just sucks.

But hopefully tomorrow, on to better topics! :) Good night to you all!

Challenge Day 18: Something That You Are Proud Of

So today has been a very long, very cold day. It started at 5:30 am. I set my alarm for 5:30, snoozed till 6 and then hit snooze for about 5 minutes more. I was working at the schools 5K Fun Run. Not that I'm complaining, it was pretty fun; but it was sooooo cold! I swear that's been me all day, I have not been able to get warm. It was like 40 degrees this morning, and we're back to that point.

Tonight's game was really good though! It was cold and the wind kicked up, but we won! 4-1 even! And we only lost the goal with like 5 minutes left :) good way to end the season. Hoping for spring!

Today's challenge is something I'm proud of, hmmm.....

Ok I'm going to try to not go too deep, but a while back I had a really close friend completely throw my trust out the window. Afterwards I had a very hard time opening up and just being myself. In the past three-ish months I feel like I've actually stepped back into the game! If I really thought about it hard, I'd probably be able to pinpoint the exact moment that it all happened - and I'm sure there's about 2, maybe 3 people in the world who could tell me when, but my confidence has just taken some leaps and bounds. It feels really good! I've met a lot of new people who've definitely opened up new doors and given me an out of Tooele when I need it and I've gotten back in touch with some friends and gone out with them, I've checked some things off my list as well.

It feels good to just hang out and be myself. There's definitely one piece to the puzzle missing - my bestie who lives in Kentucky, but overall I am very, very proud of myself for just opening up and being me.

Sorry if this sounds all scatter-brained, I can't get my thoughts together and I'm having major issues staying focused! I like to joke that I have ADHD sometimes - and I have people who can attest to my lack of focus, but it's bad when I am trying to write lol

Challenge Day 17: Something You Always Think “What If …” About

So to all of you, I may just post this and then go to bed. Don't ask why I signed up for the time I did, but I have to be to the school at 7 am tomorrow for our 2nd Annual 5K Fun Run. I'm going to be dragging! I was joking earlier that I may need some hot chocolate/Bailey's mix to keep me warm ;) well I failed to get to the liquor store so that's out. But I may still have to go get some hot cocoa tomorrow morning. 6:45 to be exact. Ugh!

Feeling pretty accomplished, sticking to my and Mel's new workout regime :) even had time to do weights today :) which then led to the creeper guy who was like totally gawking. It's like ok, close your mouth, you are drooling and it's pretty gross. Plus we're totally checking out the other guy and not you (no offense) lol (because, let's be real, we're girls)

I've been thinking about today's challenge and I think I know what I'm going with. There are very few what if's in my life as I tend to see nothing as a regret, only something to learn from, but this is actually something that is a what if situation.

Growing up I was always slightly heavier and always had weight issues (I'm trusting this as a safe space - as you probably wouldn't hear me openly talking about this unless you're super close to me), nothing bad, but it was frustrating. I played competitive soccer and danced year round all through Jr. High and High School and yet I couldn't lose weight to save my life! Stopped drinking soda, stopped eating fast food, watched what I ate, did fad diets, listened to my dad as he told me over and over again "Should you really be eating that?" I was a poster child for healthy eating and exercise! It didn't do me any good.

My mom has thyroid issues, so when I was about 16-17 I went in to get tested. All my blood work came back normal - nothing wrong. Did blood work again and again. Never any change. I went to college and it only got worse because I had stopped soccer and dance, granted I was walking more because I was also without a car, but still. Then my friend (more like sister) was diagnosed with PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) and she had also been heavier most of her life. I watched as she lost weight after figuring out what she needed to do. I had another friend who then (a couple months later) found out she too had PCOS but it was also with a celiac diagnoses. PCOS became a fascination for me and I was like, maybe that's what I have! Got more blood work done and was again told, no. I finally found a doctor who specialized in it and he said straight off that based off certain things about my appearance (acne, excess body hair, etc.) that he had no doubts it was what I was going through. The problem is that the blood work, unless you know what you're looking for will look completely normal!

PCOS is a trait passed through the male chromosomes to their children, and it rarely manifests itself in men. But tends to always in women. It's (to put it in the easiest terms) basically a pre-diabetic disease and if not treated will lead to Type 2 diabetes. It works with your insulin levels and doesn't allow you to lose weight but rather store the fat. Your body produces higher than normal testosterone (which as we should all know, women produce, but not in high levels). And you can get cysts on your ovaries which causes really painful periods (yes, I do remember puking multiple times and staying in bed for days).

Anyway, after being put on MetFormin (a pill they actually give people with diabetes) my symptoms started going away and to say that weight shed like water isn't an exaggeration. But, it can only do so much and I was slipping into bad college eating habits, so eventually the weight gradually creeped back up, but still, I am dealing with it and have lost almost 20 lbs - this disease makes it realllllllllly hard to lose weight like any other person would. As much as I hate living my life on pills, I don't know what would happen if I just said "screw it!" So my what if is definitely, what if I never found out I had PCOS? Would life be easier? Would I be happy? What would happen if I stopped taking the pills?

Too many what if's so I'll just stop worrying for the night.

Anyway if you made it through this, thank you for reading and listening. It's really as brief as I can make it, but to the point. If you're interested in more info let me know.

Challenge Day 16: Your Zodiac/Horoscope and if You Think It Fits Your Personality

Ok so today could pretty much be summed up in two scenarios.

Number one. Lately I've had this drive to get back to working out on a regular basis. I have even been putting out my stuff so that when I come home from school I can grab it and go. Mel has been going with me so that's a good thing too! Today, I got out of work late (5:30) and came home to change, this should've taken two minutes really. Well, I couldn't find my pants. That I set out! I tore my room apart like 3 times and then finally conceded to wear shorts. I started looking for my jacket and couldn't find it, so I figured it would be in my car, I went out there and it wasn't, but I found my other pair of longer gym pants lol so I grabbed them and pulled them on (it's cold out!) - over my shoes by the way - just to find the other pair of pants I had set out. Determined to wear those I put them on and realized they were backwards, so I had to pull them off again. Still didn't find my jacket. It took 30 minutes. Still went to the gym tho!

Number two. After the gym, we were leaving to go get my mom and go home and my mom was talking to me. This was the conversation that ensued:

Mom: So I have the Wyoming land taxes
Me: Ok
Mel: Wyoming Land?
Me: *confused look at Mel, kinda laugh*
Mel: Awww that sounds sooo cuuuuttte!
Me: *even more confused look, laughing a little harder*
Mel: It'd be so little, like it'd have a ferris wheel and a Puff the Magic Dragon roller coaster and --
Me: *outright doubled over laughing*
Mel (still oblivious): What?
Me: Mel, we're talking about the land we have in Wyoming
Mel: Oh. Haha I thought you said tickets!
Me: Wyoming land taxes

But the challenge today is to tell you my zodiac and if it fits me. My zodiac sign is a Cancer.

This is what it says my personality is like (I had a really hard time finding this by the way, not sure I fully agree with it):

Cancerians are considered to be quite unsophisticated from the inside and prone to move around in search of the right opportunity. It is also a widely accepted notion that they are sensitive and protective. They don’t find it difficult to blend in the environment, and at the same time, are also quite attached to their family.
  - I think this part fits pretty well.

But there are quite many other facets to your personality. You have special love for the spotlight, and the desire to be admired and loved is very dominant in your character. You are very touchy, and get emotional a lot more often than others. You sense purpose for everything you do, and you are ready to endure anything if you feel the end result is worth it.
   - I think most of this is good, but I'm not truly a touchy person, although I like hugs lol

You will move in all directions to reach you destination, and this makes things possible for you that no other person around you can manage to pull off. This also increases your money making opportunities, and you might well make your way into large money-making firms. You have an innate feeling of insecurity and timidity, and this prevents you from taking risks and thereby inhibits your growth.
   - I don't make a lot of money, period. I will probably never make a lot of money lol I will agree with the part about not being a risk-taker but I don't tend to associate it with being timid and insecure - I speak my mind and have no issue doing so!

You have strong likes and dislikes and preconceived notions. Talking about your sex drive, you clearly exhibit your intrinsic craving for proximity. You need intimacy from your mate. To top it all, you have a fascination for money and all the luxuries that it can bring to your feet.
   - LOL I am very oppionated - not my best trait I know. But wow, this paragraph is a little off in almost every facet. I really don't have a fascination for money - definitely NOT a "gold-digger"

Qualities that make you lucky are understanding, imaginative, desire to success, and trustworthiness. Qualities that hinder your success are moodiness, pride, pessimism, and tendency to get hurt easily.
   - Ok so I agree with the lucky qualities, and most of the hindering qualities - except for the pessimism, I tend to see the good in everything, and not the bad. I'm a realist bordering on optimist.

Overall? Meh. That's how I feel about this blog post.